Brain Dead Diaries

I've been in my garden, with no memory, in a fence dispute with my neighbor

Well hello, just a little update from my micro-farm, where so far, I’ve only harvested about 10 peas and some completely tasteless strawberries.

If you follow me on instagram, you know I’ve been boring people to tears with my garden posts. I’ve been documenting the tiniest, most unimpressive seedlings that are sprouting up after me throwing down seeds haphazardly, and having to kill all the dill that started sprouting up everywhere, because I didn’t realize that it shouldn’t be planted near carrots. My garden isn’t even a pretty garden, it’s just… a chaotic beginner garden.

I do, however, spend my evenings watching gardening videos on my tv’s youtube app, wearing my dark orange blue light blocking glasses, so I’ve been learning tons. Mostly learning: oh shoot, I did that completely wrong yesterday…

My evening garden youtube videos have replaced my evening Jesus testimony videos. Not that gardening has replaced Jesus, no not at all. I’m actually just realizing how many of his parables are about freaking farming, and just truly amazed that my two new interests are overlapping so much.

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What I would hope that I’d be spending these days doing, is focusing on figuring out my next book. My general idea is that it will be another essay/story based book, similar to Tired as F*ck, but thematically focused on my big spiritual shift over the past year. A spiritual quest memoir of sorts, kind of like how Tired as Fuck was a self-help memoir.

But I have been brain-dead. Totally brain dead. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t focus. I was feeling lightheaded and strange and foggy and fuzzy and forgetting things like I was a dementia patient. Seriously. And I think I just figured out why: the new supplement I was taking that was supposed to help all my health problems.

Inositol is supposed to be great for people’s PCOS symptoms. Seriously, google and you’ll see the most glowing reviews. It works to lower blood sugar, among other things, which is often a driving factor in people’s PCOS symptoms. I actually started the supplement with such a low dose, increasing every few days until I was up to the full recommended dose. And I was increasing so slowly that I didn’t tie the spaciness to the inositol, because it came on so slowly. I felt so strange and terrible and unable to focus for a few weeks, and so the only thing I could do, was go outside into my little garden and do my little projects.

Then one day I accidentally gave myself a bigger dose, and that entire day I had such low blood sugar that I was on the constant verge of feinting, and had to lie down for a few hours. I looked it up… yes inositol can cause low blood sugar hmmmm ok. So I went back to my regular dose until a few days later I had the same thing and realized wait is the inositol the reason I haven’t been able to focus my brain on anything for weeks? Turns out, yes.

So, I’ve been off a few days and I’m slowly becoming a person again.

Just in time for a fence dispute with my neighbor. Actually, maybe I would have benefitted by being too spacey to fight back as hard as I did, but either way…

Fence-gate

On Sunday, the day before Memorial day, I got a long text from my neighbor, informing me that their friend told them that old fences can be a termite risk, so they were going to take down our property boundary fence that they thought (but didn’t know) was theirs, and they were just letting me know.

I asked them if they were going to put up another one and they said “We aren’t really fence people, but won’t mind if you want to put up a fence.” Uh, thanks?

Now, this fence between us is old, and we both inherited it when we bought the houses, but it is standing fine. And while it does “face” me, which indicates it more likely “theirs,” it matches the fence on the other side of my yard, but doesn’t match the fence on their other side, so my first thought was: You don’t even know if this is your fence, and you are TELLING me you are taking it down, and that you “aren’t fence people” but KNOWING I need a fence for my dog…?!?!?!?!

I was pissed.

There was a little silver lining though, because I have long wanted to put up a tall, cedar privacy fence, I was just putting it off as long as possible, because it isn’t really the most responsible use of my money right now, while I don’t actually need it. My old small fence was standing fine, and I am easily spending more money than I am making this year, without springing for a cedar privacy fence.

I had actually told this neighbor recently that I wanted a privacy fence, but couldn’t afford to do it yet… so them springing this on me, knowing I told them I couldn’t afford a new fence yet… over a fence they didn’t even know for sure was theirs yet… it felt like a real shit move.

I started off responding in a measured way: Are we sure that the fence between us is actually a termite risk? You know I need a fence for my dog so can we figure out if this is actually necessary? Do you guys have actually termites right now?

No they don’t have termites that they know of. They are going to get an inspection now that their friend scared them about termites.

Ok…

I went for it. I told them I was shocked by their approach to this, telling me they’re taking down this fence without any discussion, or offering to chip in for a new one, when they know I need one. Did they really think we would have no fence? With my dog and their outdoor cat? Or were they just expecting me to pay for it? Would you be willing to pay for half of the price of a cheap fence? Also, we don’t even know for sure that it’s your fence, so can you please include me in your discussions and decision for this fence that I actually need?

They responded shortly and coldly, without acknowledging much, that they would instead wait to decide what to do with the fence until after they got a termite inspection. Ok… still ignoring that this may not even be your fence.

It was Memorial Day Weekend so I couldn’t do anything until Tuesday except email my landscaper for a privacy fence quote, and email my termite company for info on old fence risks, and asking them to come do an inspection on my house.

My plan had been, that when I was ready to get the privacy fence, I was just going to just pay for it myself. I wasn’t going to ask my neighbors to go in on a fence that I wanted, when our current fence was standing fine. Yes, you could probably break one of the disintegrating pickets with a light punch … but the fence posts were fine. But them springing this on me before I was ready and not offering to help with a new fence? Grrrrrrrrrr. On principal alone I was pissed.

Well, Tuesday came around and I called the Township, and it turns out it is their fence, according to the zoning permit that was applied for by their previous owner….

I thought: Ok fine. FINE they can take it down. I can’t stop them, and I’ll get my privacy fence. And I will irresponsibly spend money I should not be spending, as if there is no tomorrow. At least I can be alone in my own back yard. Maybe this was God giving me a gift (that I will probably be paying over $10K for.)

So I wrote them a LONG text, explaining that over the weekend I didn’t have enough information. There was a serious question on the ownership of the fence, so their approach seemed particularly unneighborly. But, the fence is in fact theirs, according to the township, so since I can’t stop them from taking it down, please just coordinate with me so I can put the new fence up as soon after they take theirs down as possible. I was a lot more verbose than this, trying to explain again why I pushed back so hard, and no I’m not happy about having to spend money I am not comfortable with this year, but all I can hope for now is their communication and cooperation with timing.

And they responded very simply, informing me they won’t be removing the fence on our property boundary anymore.

Oh. Oh! Ok. Well… wait. Wait wait wait, I actually… wait — I want you to now. Because I need that as my excuse to spring for the privacy fence that I should not be spending money on this year.

Funny how I got what I wanted but actually ended up screwing myself over in an unexpected way.

What will I do? Just keep the small shitty fence for another year to save face? Or say: Actually, you know what? I am going to pay for a privacy fence this year and I guess I’ll be paying extra now to take down this shitty fence myself!

I’m so glad my brain came back online just in time to fight a battle I now wish I hadn’t fought.

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This paywall is just to keep my voiceover behind the paywall!